...Counting on Humour - Biggest Lies

• 3 Biggest Software Lies :

The programmes are fully tested and bug free.
We're working on the documentation.
Of course we can modify it.

• 3 Biggest Computer Room Lies :
  

As long as you remember to 'SAVE' your input, you'll never lose any files.
We run the stuff through as fast as it comes in the door.
The new machine's on order.

• 3 Biggest Large Company Lies :

We have an entrepreneurial spirit here.
People are our greatest resource.
We say 'let the market-place decide'.

• 3 Biggest Small Company Lies :

We have an entrepreneurial spirit here.
The boss is just one of the guys.
Staying small is a conscious decision .

• 3 Biggest Marketing Lies :

Immediate delivery?....No problem.
We treat every customer as if they were our most important.
We're going out to lunch to talk business.

• 3 Biggest Engineering Professor's Lies :

Some day this course will come in handy.
These test are more trouble for me than they are for you.
This is the way they do it in the industry.

• 3 Biggest Executive Lies :

Money...it's just a score card.
If it were up to me, there'd be no assigned parking spaces.
You have to twist my arm to get me to go on a business trip.

• 3 Biggest Hardware Lies :

We always design for testability.
It worked fine on the proto board.
That would be much easier to implement in software.